LG's mama (R) loves her immensely. Back in August after disappearing for a couple of months, she resurfaced and wanted a visit with LG, her baby. In those months of not knowing where R was we wondered if she was hurt or hungry, whether she was homeless or in danger. The hour it took to drive to her visit was tense. There were enough variables and instability involved in the situation that extra staff had been called in, just in case. After leaving her in the arms of one of the staff members, I drove to a nearby parking lot and just shook. From the passenger seat, Leilani (a woman who has in her own loving and inclusive way adopted me into her family), told me it's going to be ok, to try to calm down. I fumbled for words that would honestly and completely capture the war of emotions making my hands shake and my voice tremble. "All I want to do is drive back over there and run inside. But when I get in, I don't know if I want to scoop up LG and take her away from there, or if I want to embrace R and tell her how thankful I am that she's ok, that I was so worried about her, that I'm so relived that she's safe!" R is unstable, but the love she has for LG is undeniable. Does that mean she's capable of raising her? Or that because of her love for LG, she's the best place for her? The department will figure that out. What I know is that LG is loved by her mama and that if the strength of our love for our children was measured by our ability to get it right, we'd all fall short.
Foster care is hard. It's living in a state of unknown, it's juggling a revolving door of new people in the form of caseworkers, attorneys, CPA caseworkers, CASA people, bio family...All while building a deep and permanent bond with children that may move on from your home.
In the article I was reading earlier I saw a few stats that made the urgency associated with foster care glaringly obvious.
"As of Oct. 17, among the 2,000-plus endangered children awaiting help from CPS, 511 were six years or younger and at the highest risk of being abused or neglected, according to the department."
Too few caseworkers, a disorganized and chaotic system. Not enough hands to hold it all up and real, beautiful, children getting lost in the mess of it.
Is there something you might be able to do? Do you feel something in the pit of your stomach when you think of the 171 children who died of abuse and neglect in 2015? Maybe being a foster parent isn't your "Right Thing". Maybe it's being a parental coach for biological parents- being a mentor, or donating gently used/new clothing to one of the many organizations in our area that are working to support children and foster families. It could be becoming a respite care provider, or committing to walk along side a foster family as a support in prayer and practicality when they receive a new placement.
Maybe it is becoming a foster parent. Maybe you're scared of the unknown and trying to logic your way out of the calling you never wanted. I get that.
We need you. Church. We need you to be the hands and feet of Jesus. When He walked in the midst of the broken and lost, He met needs in a practical way that demonstrated His scandalous love and people were transformed- because of action. It's tempting, so tempting to look the other way, but intentional ignorance doesn't equal freedom from responsibility. We are called to help, expected to respond to the orphan and the widow (the untouchables, the lost, the hurting) with a love that looks like a verb. We are seated in Heavenly Places, given the gift of being made free, and in response to that gift our reflexive action should be an overflow of love that comes from Him. We don't get a pass on this, The Bystander Effect isn't applicable to us.
We need courageous hearts that step into the brokeness of others and know that love is the answer, that loving the children is easy, but that sometimes it's the way we love these parents and treat them with respect and integrity that will break the cycle and achieve, what we believe, is the ultimate goal here: Reunification of the family unit. YES adoption is beautiful, but adoption was never plan A. These situations and the layers of complexities are many, but they are redeemable. They are not hopeless. LG's mama, R? She is a beloved daughter of the King, worthy of respect, worthy of our time, worthy of our love. Love transforms, and fortunately for us, His healing power, His loving mercy isn't contingent upon our belief in it. So, it's ok if we're not sure, or if we have doubt, or if we don't have all the answers.
Where do you fit? Is there a place you know you're being called? Shoot me a message. It's ok to not know, it's ok to have questions. I won't have all the answers, but I know that if we work together we can find them, or find someone who has them.
Thank you for your prayers for our family. They mean so much to us. Our hearts are broken for the families affected by generations of cyclical abuse and neglect that some of these children (and their parents) are born into. We're praying too. And you might be the answer to our prayers, the gift of a stable, loving home that a child, a baby, a teenager needs, or the resource and relief a foster family needs that will keep them in play.
You're important. You're the solution. Will you claim your place?
