The last couple of weeks have been opportunities for growth for our girl. When she told us through tears that two little boys called her ugly and then a few days later a little girl slapped her arm and tugged her roughly, I fluctuated between heartbreak and outrage. Neither were helpful to my sweetheart, so I got it under control while I held her and exchanged meaningful, venomous looks with Mike. When we all calmed down we talked.
We talked about value. Value she carries- not because of the things she does, or how she looks. Not the sort of value that depends on variables that she could manipulate, but the kind of value that belongs to her because of whose she is. We reminded her that the King of the World holds her in high regard. That she is a daughter of the King (gal 3:26). His word says that 'He is with you, Kherington- your warrior, mighty to save. He delights in YOU! He will quiet you with His love, and He will rejoice over you with singing.' (zeph 3:17). You are fearfully and wonderfully made (ps 139) and you are so valuable. Value- because you are His.
We talked about truth. And how lies can hurt, especially when they're given the weight of belief. Being able to discern truth from lies, fact from opinion, the productive nature of constructive criticism from the destructive force of words meant to harm- it's a skill that is in an unfortunate necessity. One that tears callously at the cloak of her innocence while we work furiously to teach her to patch the holes with the armor of God.
We think she's amazing. Captivating dark eyes and a winning smile. She actually looks just like my mom with Mike's family's dimpled chin, it makes me smile every day. Kher is a problem solver that takes the initiative in all sorts of scenarios. Planning comes second nature to her. She like rules and clearly defined parameters. Just like her daddy. She is kind, courageous, compassionate. My sweet, helpful shadow. We know who she is. She needs to know who she is.
One of the weighty duties we have as her parents is to speak truth into her life. This is where the consistency we laid as foundation in her toddler-hood bears fruit- she trusts us. She trusts implicitly that what we tell her is the truth. When she was a tiny thing it was: if you do this the consequence will be that. Now that she's older, we're gratefully reaping the rewards of consistent parenting. She believes what we say.
The best and most beautiful result of her trust is that because she trusts us, we can point her to Jesus. We can show her how we, Mike and I, are trusting Him to meet our needs, be a salve to our wounds, a restful and comforting embrace when we are weary and tender. Laying that foundation when she was little led us here. Trusting us leads to trusting him. Believing in our words and our love for her, blends beautifully- like watercolors- into trusting His words and His truths. Kherington understanding that we set rules and boundaries for her benefit and because we love her helps her to understand the value of the guardrails that the Father lovingly put in her life.
A hope I harbor for my children is that by knowing the value they carry because of Jesus, their view of others would be changed. That labels put on them or people around them would just fall off, having no where to grip because lies find no grip on God's perfect truth. I hope that they are skillful advocates for themselves and for those the tug at their hearts, guided by what's real and empowered by a sense of worth rooted deep in the soil of their souls.
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